Well, people will definitely be talking about The Golden Globes 2016 around the watercooler this morning. It was chock full of surprises, faux pas, controversies, and sheer outrageousness. If you totally missed the event let us make you aware of how things went down in the comedy categories:
1. Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
The Martian
Yes, you saw that correctly. You’re probably thinking, The Martian is a comedy? I’m sure the writer of the novel, Andy Weir, is scratching his head on this one. Amy Schumer, better luck next time. Sniffle.
2. Best Performance By An Actress In A Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy
Jennifer Lawrence, Joy
J Law wins again. I think she has this winning thing down. She didn’t even trip accepting her award, but… Joy is clearly a comedy based on this description “A story of a family across four generations, centered on the girl who becomes the woman (Jennifer Lawrence) who founds a business dynasty and becomes a matriarch in her own right. Facing betrayal, treachery, the loss of innocence and the scars of love, Joy becomes a true boss of family and enterprise. Allies become adversaries and adversaries become allies, both inside and outside the family, as Joy’s inner life and fierce imagination carry her through the storm she faces.” I see a pattern.
3. Best Performance By An Actor In A Televised Series – Musical or Comedy
Gael Garcia Bernal, Mozart In The Jungle
Honestly, the only reason I know about this movie is that Amazon Prime REALLY wants you to see it when you join. The movie is musically inclined so it gets a pass, but don’t you think they should make Musical and Comedy separate categories? Just saying. Aziz, you were amazing in Master of None. Rob, you’re good at every comedy role you’re given. Grinder rocks. The rest of the guys, you know you’re great.
4. Best Performance By An Actor In A Motion Picture – Musical Or Comedy
Matt Damon, The Martian
Well, now it makes total sense. The star of The Martian, a comedy, wins for best comedic performance by an actor. Man stranded on another planet desperately tries to get back to Earth. Funny moments, sure. Laugh out loud, gut buster, sorry, no. I’m starting to think these people don’t know what a comedy is.
5. Best Televised Series – Musical or Comedy
Mozart in The Jungle
Allowed. See #3.
6. Best Performance By An Actress In A Televised Series – Musical or Comedy
Rachel Bloom, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
WHAT?! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! They finally got one right? You must be joking. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a musical comedy? Yup. Am I living in a topsy turvy world where the most deserved person finally won? Yes, my dear, yes you are. Congrats Rachel, you knocked that speech out of the park! Run, before they realize that you are a real comedic actress.
So what have we learned here, kids? Just call yourself a comedy and you have a much better chance of winning a Golden Globe. Suckas! Comedy, you need your own awards show. See you next year (with host Ricky Gervais or hosts America Ferrera and Eva Longoria)? Start making your bets now!